One of the best pieces of advice I have received may also be some of the simplest advice I’ve heard. Over 10 years ago as my wife and I were preparing for our first born child, an old coach and teacher told me in order to be a good dad, just care. In a world that can often feel chaotic, I often come back to these simple words. Just care.
I’m going to make wrong decisions. I’m going to helicopter parent more than I should. I’m going to forget about some event or camp that I’m supposed to take one of my kids to. I’ll accumulate a long list of failures over time. But one thing I promise to do is to carry out that simple idea of just care. And to do that, I believe the foundation to being a good parent is to show up and lean in.
Lean in looks different for everyone. For some it’s coaching the team or volunteering to help with the band. For others it may be driving their kids each night to help feed their curiosity in music, coding, chess, Cub or Girl Scouts, or whatever other hobby they’re passionate about. Show up and lean in to help feed and energize the child’s passions.
These simple words of just care I’ve found go well beyond just the scope of parenting. In leadership, we’ll face unprecedented times more often than I ever expected. When we show up and lean in, we are ready to explore how to persevere through difficult times.
In our community there will always be big problems to solve. Show up and lean in to try to move the needle just a little at a time.
In our health and wellness journey, we will face plenty of peaks and valleys. Days we don’t want to show up and workout. Meals we much rather go for the huge juicy cheeseburger as opposed to a healthy option. We’re not going to be successful each day but show up each morning and lean in.
I’m one of the fortunate ones. I witnessed firsthand what it meant to have a dad that showed up and leaned in. Before my dad passed in 2023, he spent over 2 decades battling a rare muscle disease. It made even simple tasks like walking down the sidewalk or getting out of bed ready to go for the morning difficult.
The road was tough for my dad. Yet what did he choose to do? He showed up and leaned in. While it didn’t look like he wanted it to with his body struggling to fight his disease, he cared. He was there to walk me out on senior day for baseball. He was there to celebrate my wedding. He was there on graduation day. He was there when my wife and I were blessed with our two kids. He showed up to play Uno, color pictures, and play board games with my kids. He showed up and leaned in the way he was able to.
With how complex life can get and all the struggle we face, the keep it simple method can be such a calming through the storm. Keep reminding ourselves, just show up and lean in.
*Yesterday I fell flat on my face and feel like I failed nonstop. Today show up and lean in.
*Yesterday I strayed away from what I know I should have been putting my time and energy into. Today show up and lean in.
*Yesterday I let down myself and others. Today show up and lean in.
To all those parents, and especially dads on Father’s Day, I tip my hat to you that choose to show up and lean in. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels like it’s hard to get out of a valley. But those that show up and lean in give our kids an incredible model of what it takes to be resilient, love unconditionally, and to be someone that will be relentless continuing to find ways to grow and make an impact.
Happy Father’s Day! Love and miss you dad!
Take your step: the next time adversity hits and your mind thinks you should pull away, pause. Ask yourself what it would look like to keep showing up and lean in. Push yourself that while it is difficult, show up and lean in over and over again to create an incredible impact both within and outside. It may not show up right away, but the impact will come as long as we continue to show up and lean in.