You’re nervous because you care.
After all these years I can’t recall who said this to me but it’s one of those sayings that has stuck with me forever. Before a big presentation, the nerves settle in because I care about connecting and impacting the group I’m speaking with. My kids will occasionally mention their nerves before a big game and it’s because they want to compete the best they can with their team.
Nervousness is a natural reaction to the perception that something is dangerous. In a presentation or in sports the fear of underperforming will always be there and while it may not be dangerous per se, the body still senses danger and in comes the nerves running through the body. With how the body reacts to situations that get the nerves going, it’s not uncommon for us to want to avoid these moments. It’s easier for me to not raise my hand to volunteer and share in front of a big crowd. It’s easier for me not to enter a competition that’s going to be challenging and where I can see myself fail.
Nerves can have a big impact on the challenges we seek out in our growth journey. Some of us see nerves as a good sign because we’re taking on a challenge that may be stretching us but is great long term for our growth. Others will look at the experience dealing with nerves and want to avoid those moments as much as possible. And this is the point where we can start seeing growth quickly plateau.
Nerves can be tough to deal with for most of us but in these situations where we’re challenging ourselves and the nerves set in, it’s a great indication we’re putting ourselves in an environment to learn and grow. It’s a sign we care about what’s going to happen which means we’re invested and passionate about growing. That is a fantastic sign when you can look at a situation and say I’m nervous because I want something more. I want this situation to go well because there’s an impact I want to make or there’s a challenge I want to test myself on. That’s where growth happens and it’s those of us willing to jump into the environment where our nerves are flowing that can see the greatest progress.
Handling nerves in the moment can be tough. I’m certainly far from mastering it but there are some best practices I’ve learned and tried throughout the years I would suggest others consider:
Breathing: such a simple concept and science shows just how beneficial this can be to help calm and reset the body. There is an extensive amount of breathing techniques someone can try but simply with a big inhale through the nose and exhaling through the mouth can be a great start.
Know the why: there’s a reason why we’re nervous and it’s because we care about something. Focus on what that something is. If we’re on the big stage and the nerves are fluttering, focus on why you’re up there and what message you feel can impact this audience. If you’re strolling into a big networking event with the nerves building up, work to bring your attention to the opportunity you have to learn and conversate with different perspectives. Refocus around the why you’re putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation.
Establish your reset phrases: in the moment the intensity of emotion tends to be at its highest. The nerves are firing in all directions and the mind can follow. Now what’s key is to get the mind to reset and refocus. The approach that’s helped me is phrases or words that can help snap your mind back into focus even with the nerves flowing. I’ve used or heard others use phrases such as own it, lock in, thrive, seize the opportunity, step up, among others. The phrases must be personal and connect with how you reset and refocus your mind.
The feeling of nerves can be an indication that we’re challenging ourselves to learn and grow. It’s not easy to raise our hand and put ourselves in new and uncomfortable situations but if we want our growth journeys accelerated, the nerves must be a part of the recipe for success. Sitting on the sidelines in comfort plateaus exploring what we’re capable of. Those of us willing to walk into a situation where we know the nerves will show up and still put ourselves out there are the ones that will continue to see their growth journey forge ahead. Cheers to those embracing the nerves and fighting through to keep making a positive impact!
Take your step: what’s the last situation you felt nervous going into? Think about why this situation created nerves for you and how you handled it. Run back through your toolkit handling the nerves and assess what’s worked well and what approaches you’d like to try the next time. Think about this toolkit of handling nerves as a fluid set of approaches to acknowledge we’re going to jump into situations that creates nerves but there are ways to help mitigate and refocus the mind. Identify what approaches you want to consider trying and take these ideas into the next opportunity where nerves start to set in.