Earlier this week I came across a quick clip on Instagram with an older gentleman that gave a profound way to think of how we measure in life.
“I looked in your cup to see if you had enough. You looked in mine to check if I had more than you. That difference says everything. We are not the same. Pay attention to what people measure.”
Powerful comparison. It made me stop and think. What areas of life am I looking in others’ cups and seeing if they have enough? What areas of life am I more concerned about comparing whether I have enough compared to someone else?
I love the simple perspective this gentleman provided in a clear and concise way but I believe the reality of our complex selves is not binary in nature. I see many of us as a combination of the two and at times, it can flip back and forth with the storms we face in life. Sometimes we’re looking to see if others have enough and sometimes, we’re checking if others have more than us.
In our career I’m sure we can look back and think of moments we jumped in to find ways to help elevate and mentor others. At other times we may have had thoughts run through our mind questioning why someone else got the promotion I wanted or the opportunity I may have felt I deserved. When we start letting our mind compare if others have more, we take time and energy away from growing and challenging ourselves.
In our health and wellness journey, we may be great supporters of our friends and share healthy recipes or great workouts for them to try. We may be a great motivator in small group workout classes to help challenge others. Then there can be moments when we look external and are jealous of the physique or shape someone else is in and we start questioning why we don’t have what they have.
When I go back to the quote and comparison of how people measure, I’m convinced a huge part of the difference is the degree we understand who we authentically want to be.
This is no small task understanding who we authentically want to become. I’d argue it’s a lifetime journey. But as the proverb says, when there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. When we invest time in understanding our priorities, values, and how we authentically want to make an impact, I don’t need to check if anyone else has more. The concentration within allows us to focus on our own authentic path and mitigate our mind wanting to compare externally.
There’s rarely a straightforward answer to the complexity of how we grow in this crazy world, but one piece of clarity is the more we know and understand ourselves, the less our mind feels the need to compare to others. The more we know and understand within, the more often we check if others need more. The less we know within, the more apt we are to look and compare outwards.
The best gift we can give to ourselves is the opportunity to explore authentically who we want to become. It’s a lifelong journey and as we continue to learn a little bit more about ourselves each day, we can focus on checking how full others are as opposed to comparing whether we have enough.
Check out ideas on exploring how to win the inner game and continue to learn more about what you authentically want to strive for: Win the Inner Game – Be An Accelerator.
Take your step: identify one or two areas of life you feel you measure too often by comparing to others. See this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself so that time and energy don’t have to be spent on the comparison trap. Take more time reflecting and finding out in this area of your life, what are your priorities and values you need to focus on? Spend more time supporting and growing these priorities to uncover more about yourself. The more we learn and understand ourselves, the less we feel the need to measure externally.