When I mention the topic of shedding the weight I have a feeling many of us think of shedding pounds off of our body. It’s natural that we think the weight that’s holding us back may be what we see in the mirror. After all, it’s the most noticeable. However, the weight that can be the most dangerous to our progress is the weight that can’t be seen. 

The weight that holds us back the most is what we carry between the ears. The weight we truly need to shed is the negativity and struggle we carry from our past that overtime can weigh us down more and more.

We are all guilty of it. It may be a failed relationship holding us hostage from engaging in future relationships. It may be a failed project at work that makes us hesitant to rise and take on another challenge. Or it may be the words we’ve heard in the past that we’re not worthy or capable and we hold onto this to eventually accept this narrative.

Any situation can happen with 2 realities. Objective is the reality of what happened while subjective is how we see, interpret, and make meaningful what happened. The subjective reality is key when we think about our mental wellbeing. The subjective reality creates the story within our mind and shapes the version of the truth we tend to settle on. 

To help shed the weight that’s holding us back, we need to reshape some of the narrative we have created. We must be willing to explore that the truth we hold today may not be the truth we should hold for tomorrow. 

Shedding this type of weight isn’t going to be as easy as sticking to a strict diet or increasing the number of workouts done each week. The mental game of shedding this narrative that is holding us back will take a lot of personal exploration and reflection. It will require us to acknowledge that the story we’ve created in our mind is incomplete and we need to seek a more holistic view to reshape our narrative. 

So where do we start? A great place to consider is focusing on how to be purposeful in our ability to pause and reflect. In this world we’re so used to sprinting from one thing to the next. When we’re so focused on sprinting to the next thing on the list we miss opportunities to reflect on what has transpired. Maybe there are wins taking place we’re not even realizing. Maybe there are struggles we’ve encountered and have a lot to learn from them to carry forward for success the next opportunity.

The pause and reflect approach allows us to go beyond just the readily available thoughts in our mind and provides time and space to explore a more holistic version of the story. We give ourselves the opportunity to search for more pieces to the subjective story we’ve created to uncover a more complete story.

When it comes to our pause and reflect approach, it must work within your authentic way. Some prefer to wake up and take 5-10 minutes right away in the morning while the house is quiet. Some prefer to pause and reflect right before bed or take a walk outside to let the mind explore. Regardless of when, where, or how, allow the pause and reflect approach to provide an opportunity for a more holistic narrative to be explored.

To help with this process, check out some of my go-to questions. Find the questions that help you authentically explore a story well beyond just the one you’ve settled on.

• Am I investing my time in what’s meaningful to me?
• What did I grow the most from today?
• Did my actions align with what I expected from myself?
• Are there beliefs today I’ve outgrown but still hold onto?
• Were there fears that held me back today and what were they?
• What promises did I make to myself that I carried out?
• Is there something I need to forgive myself for today?
• How did I help others today?

Take your step: the most important step in this process is acknowledging the truth you hold today may not be the truth you need for tomorrow. If we’re sprinting from one thing to the next, we don’t allow ourselves time to pause and reflect to help shape a complete story for ourselves. To shed the mental weight, my challenge to you is to identify 5-10 minutes each day for the next week to see how much you can discover. Use the questions above as a starting point and begin with the week ahead to explore a little more about the more complete story you need to create.