Last Wednesday I was fortunate enough to be a part of the first Fail Forward Project, led by someone I’ve really enjoyed partnering with, Stephen Smith. The premise of Fail Forward Project is creating space to share the hardships, missteps, and lessons we’ve learned along our journey. It’s real, unfiltered, vulnerable, raw stuff. And I was here for all of it.
It ended up becoming a therapeutic event for me to invest time to reflect on the almost 20 year career and the failures I’ve learned most from to help shape me into the person I am today. Not only was the prep for my talk therapeutic, but the environment the Fail Forward Project brought to life provided an added inspiration listening to other speakers and the audience share and collaborate on so many struggles we have in common. It was an environment that invited in our most vulnerable selves so that when we walked out of those doors the conversation about failures could become about the growth and perseverance we can demonstrate, not some stigma that we were unsuccessful. We became more equipped sharing our true selves with the world and understanding failures will always be a part of the journey if we’re trying to become our best authentic selves.
I wanted to share a few highlights of lessons learned from my struggles in the hope to help work towards normalizing the idea of sharing and embracing our failures to grow into someone better for tomorrow. Below are 3 of what I call Moments of Truth I have had during my career where I really needed to shift my way of thinking.
Moment of Truth #1
Many of us have been there – struggling with a job or a situation where we feel like we’re a complete failure. The intensity of our failures starts taking over the story we are formulating about who we are. Soon, we lose perspective on all the positive momentum and get consumed with only the failures.
There’s a leadership analogy that compares the viewpoint of the dance floor vs. balcony. On the dance floor I can only see what’s right around me. My perspective is very limited. As a leader, we must have the ability to take the steps up to the balcony to see the entire dance floor. While on the balcony, we can gain a holistic perspective as opposed to only the details closely surrounding you.
This analogy runs parallel with how we define the truth of ourselves. I’ve had times where I define myself on the dance floor where all I’m surrounded by are unsuccessful moments. To shape the holistic truth about ourselves, we must take the mental steps up to the balcony to see beyond just the unsuccessful moments we’re consumed with. We must understand there are successful moments along with growth and development moments to help create momentum for the future.
Moment of Truth #2
When we take on new opportunities and challenges, it will almost be a certainty that the magnet of comfort will try to pull you back towards what you’re comfortable and good at. By resorting back to this comfort, growth and development opportunities stall. The magnet of comfort has pulled me plenty of times and it’s minimized the positive impact I feel I could have made. I needed the lesson taught in No Rules Rules on how we can most effectively look at maximizing our time and energy. Here’s my version of the analogy:
Picture yourself at the gamblers table with a stack of chips in front of you and only a finite number of bets you can make. The goal is to make the bets that maximize your return. Now look at that stack of chips as your time and energy. Each day you have a limited amount of energy so how are you going to use your stack of chips to maximize the impact for you, your team, or your company? Challenge yourself to make the most of your stack of chips and make the bets that maximize your limited time and energy.
Moment of Truth #3
Life will never be linear – disruption will always be waiting in a variety of ways. For me, in 2023, the loss of my Grandpa, our close friends’ 8-year-old son, our dog of 14 years, and my Dad all within a few months pushed me into a valley. I thought staying focused and continuing to push ahead as the person I was in the past was the solution. The Moment of Truth I needed was that when we hit these valleys in life, we must adapt and evolve. Valleys don’t allow us to be the same person we were before and nor should we expect to be. Life’s valleys give us so much struggle and challenge but from this comes an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.
The ability to adapt and evolve is such a critical part between letting this valley hold you hostage versus persevering to climb out of the valley as a stronger and more aware person. While it can be extremely difficult to climb out of these valleys, we all can lean on ourselves and Accelerators around us to adapt and evolve.
Take your step: life lessons come in a variety of ways, but one consistency is the need to be open to taking in life’s Moments of Truth. It all starts with vulnerability and the openness to taking in these moments. Leave space in your journey for reflection. Separate yourself from the craziness you may be facing each day. Allow your mind to zoom out and get a holistic perspective during these reflection moments to understand the Moments of Truth knocking on your door.