March Madness has had no problem living up to the hype this year. Buzzer beaters, unsung heroes, upsets. These young men and young women doing everything they can to win to extend their season for a chance at the title. 

Through the rollercoaster ride that is March Madness, emotions run high. Nonstop preparation and focus all culminating to this one tournament. With so much at stake, of course the emotion intensity ramps up, but I always find it interesting when I hear commentators or analysts refer to players needing to control their emotions. 

When players have prepared for so long for this moment, do you realistically think a 20-year-old will have control of their emotions? When a player is standing awaiting tipoff, are they supposed to control all this adrenaline and turn it off? When a player has a crucial turnover, are they supposed to control this feeling of frustration and turn it off?

The emotional part of the game is not an on/off switch. Expecting control by saying something as ridiculous as don’t feel frustrated or don’t feel the adrenaline won’t help work through the natural emotions that happen in the game. The focus needs to turn from thinking we can control to investing time learning how to regulate emotions.

When those intense emotions happen, you can’t control and eliminate it, but you can help regulate the intensity and impact. Here are some ideas on how to focus our efforts on regulating the intensity:

1. In the moment the intensity of the emotion is the highest. To help regulate we first need to pause and try to slow down the moment. Pausing and taking a deep breath in the moment slows the body and mind down from the initial rush of emotion.
2. When you pause and slow the mind down, you can identify what emotion is trying to take over the mind and body. Awareness can be your biggest ally when it comes to regulating emotion.
3. Acknowledge the emotion and accept it’s normal to feel these intense emotions. Life is far from linear so accepting and realizing peaks and valleys brings on a wide range of emotions helps normalize what is happening.
4. By the time you’ve paused and acknowledged the emotion, the body has started to slow down and in comes the ability to make a choice. No longer is it reaction in the intensity of the initial moment of high emotion, rational can now be brought to the choice you make on how to respond. Your choice can now align with what you expect of yourself.
5. You’re not alone. In the game you can turn to a coach or teammates. At work turn to a trusted co-worker. Turn to a family member or friend. While it’s important to internally find your authentic way to pause and work through the emotion to regulate it, also find how you can lean on others for perspective and support.

Take your step: the next moment of intense feeling from the craziness life throws at you, start with pausing and trying to slow down the moment. Acknowledge what feeling is trying to take over the body, understand it’s normal, and then work to think through how you want to react in the moment. The pausing and slowing of the moment will help regulate the intensity of the emotion and provide an opportunity to align your response with what you expect from yourself.