I recently was reading a book by Anthony Bourdain and his trip around the world searching for the perfect meal. As his travels took him to England, Anthony took time highlighting one of his favorite chefs, Gordon Ramsey. If you haven’t watched Gordon in one of the many TV shows he appears in, it’s common to see his no-nonsense mentality through outbursts and constant yelling at his kitchen staff.

What I found captivating is that while Gordon had this mentality of being extremely difficult on his staff, Anthony provided the other side of this story in how his staff displayed dedication and loyalty through long hours honing their craft and striving for their best. As TV viewers we saw various tirades from Gordon in what looked to be at times an impossible environment to be successful in, yet his kitchen staff saw each challenge and level of standard Gordon set as a way to thrive.

As I’m reading Anthony’s words and picturing the TV highlights of Gordon screaming, I’m wondering how this environment would help anyone thrive. There’s little chance I would find the best version of myself working in this environment. Then the light bulb came on – this isn’t the environment where I would find my best self, but this may be the right environment for each of his kitchen staff to work towards their better self.

We each thrive in our own unique way. Some may love chaos; some may need organized. Some may appreciate a loud and fast paced environment while others may prefer the quieter side of life. There may be a debate to this, but I believe uncovering our own best environment to thrive takes trial and error. It takes having a bad boss or relationship to understand what you don’t want. It takes a group of friends that look to uplift one another to understand the type of people you want to be around. Both the good and the bad of environments you’ve encountered start to form a profile of the environment where you can thrive in your own authentic way.

While there is plenty we have little control of, we do own a lot of control on what environment we choose to live our lives in. At work, at home, in the community, friend group, and so on. The question then becomes, are you settling for the environment you’re in or are you making choices to put yourself in an environment to thrive?

Take your step: pick one aspect of your life – career, relationships, health, etc. – and reflect on your current environment. As you think about the future, for growth to take place there needs to be an environment where you can thrive. Are you currently settling for the environment and is there an opportunity to make a change to help provide space to thrive? Remind yourself there is some control when it comes to your environment – identify what you can control to improve your environment and THRIVE.