Recently my family was on a flight to New York City. A way for us to celebrate an end to a great summer with school soon on the horizon. As our early morning flight took off, a nearby baby was expressing their displeasure (aka nonstop screaming). In another seat close by there was another younger child that had become infatuated with slamming the trey table down making a big banging noise every few seconds. Midway through the flight, as the baby continued to scream, my wife and I looked at each other with the exact same thought – we certainly don’t miss the stage of life traveling with a baby.

While it would be easy to get annoyed, and plenty around us were, it’s the empathy path that led us to flip from annoyance to feeling for the tiredness and frustration those parents were experiencing. Early morning flight, cramped up in an airplane, and all these strangers tends to be a tough gig for a baby and the parents – and that’s okay.

Let’s call it what it is – some situations in life are rough. For those who know me, I’m very much an optimist but reality has shown too often there are plenty of rocky situations we’ll face. What makes these rough situations even worse is if others around fuel that fire of frustration.

We have a choice when we see a tough situation. We can add to the negativity, or we can bring a bucket of empathy to help wash out some of the frustration. While it may not be an automatic behavior, empathy can be a choice. It can be part of the controllable in our lives. It often is not easy because it takes time, openness, and willingness to understand the other person’s situation.

When we see a co-worker frustrated, there may be something going on at home that is creating a struggle. When someone cuts us off on the road, they may be dealing with some tough and heavy news that’s weighing on their mind. When we see someone at the grocery store taking extra time, it may be because their budget is tight and every dollar matters.

Life hits us in such a variety of ways at different times throughout our lives. Empathy is a tool to help create a more level path for others. It shows we are willing to understand these rough situations exist but it’s okay – we can choose to try to understand one another and foster more communities of empathy. It takes work but is also amazing to see how just a little empathy can mean the world to someone.

Take your step: the next time you feel yourself becoming frustrated with someone else, pause and ask yourself if you’ve taken the time to think about their situation. Challenge yourself to think about what they may be going through and give yourself permission to reach out and provide empathy to someone that may really need it.