The other day I had a flashback moment. I recalled a memory a few years ago where I started to wonder who my kids will grow to become. At the time my kids were still in daycare where some of our biggest concerns were if we remembered enough diapers or backup clothes for the inevitable spill (or worse). I started to imagine how their personalities would evolve, where their interests may lie, what they would look like.
Now a few years later, I’m lucky enough to say I’ve had a front row seat to see how my kids have grown so far and taken on some of the mysteries life throws at us. They’ve dealt with loss. They’ve experienced a wide range of love and support. They’ve grown competitive. They’ve grown kind. They’ve just simply…grown.
When I had let my mind wander a few years ago, my focus became on some point in time in the future. I wanted to hit the fast forward button and see what was ahead. What I didn’t realize at the time was that as my mind wandered to the future, I was missing the most important and incredible part, the actual journey. It’s not about some arbitrary moment in time in the future, it’s about the highs, lows, and a lot of times right in the middle. It’s about seeing how their personalities evolve, how they handle the struggle life brings, the relationships they form, and so much more.
When we think about our future and what we’re trying to accomplish, we so often point towards some arbitrary time ahead and want to fast forward to that moment. Many of us right now are going through the process of 2025 goal setting. We may be targeting a promotion at work, identifying a degree or certification we want to attain, or setting a certain mark to accomplish in our fitness journey. We love seeing what can be checked off in a specific timeframe. But our lives don’t move forward in some systematic way year by year. There’s no flip of a switch to the next year. Our journey is so much more complex than just listing what we’ll accomplish this upcoming year.
Having goals and working towards something important to you is imperative. I won’t argue against that. It’s great to have a vision ahead. But where we often trip up, including myself, is when our fixation is only on this end destination. What we too often are blind to is real progress doesn’t happen in that moment when we check something off our list. Real progress comes during the journey.
The journey is the ultimate teacher. We get to experience how to rise from the valleys we face while also staying humble on the peaks. We see how part of what we face is uncontrollable, while other parts we must step up and own. We see how the timeline we expect in our mind won’t consider all the unexpected hurdles we will face. Sometimes that disrupted timeline can be a blessing to give us more time to learn and grow.
We all work in different ways when it comes to looking ahead and setting goals. No matter how unique our approach is, challenge yourself to look more at the journey as opposed to just the end destination. Pay attention to the details of the process and the right behaviors you’re building for success in the future, not just the short-term view of checking something off a goal list. The journey builds the behaviors and strength for future success so while it feels incredible to check off a goal, invest more time in laying out what you expect from yourself in the journey. The growth that comes from the journey will be the building blocks for a future you will thrive in.
Take your step: if you’re someone that enjoys making annual goals, challenge yourself to add another layer in 2025. Instead of just laying out a goal, go further and explore a couple other aspects – behaviors and the journey. First, with behaviors, identify what behaviors this goal is trying to create so that you’re not just checking something off a list, but you’re also shaping yourself for who you want to be in the future. Enhancing the right behaviors is a key aspect of sustainable growth well beyond 2025. Second, get detailed in the journey for what you want action to look like. The result at the end is a small part so invest more time in details of what the actionable steps you want to take look like. Regardless of some arbitrary date like 12/31/25, identifying the key behaviors you’re building along with actionable steps will set you up for more sustainable success. Focus on the journey and not solely the end destination.