I wonder sometimes how we arrive at the definition of success. Naturally, the definition of success is unique for each of us but too often we try to imitate a model of how someone else defines success. We see someone else’s fulfillment from their definition of success and expect the same path will give us gratification.

Social media and everywhere else screams the message of what is perceived as success. Money, power, prestige. It’s no wonder we look external for what the definition of success should be. But success can never be defined external. True success can only be derived internal.

It’s hard not to be distracted by the shiny object.

Your neighbor is driving around a brand-new car – why can’t you afford that?

Your coworker just received a promotion – why wasn’t that your promotion?

Your friend is doing an awesome job losing weight – why are you still struggling?

External noise is difficult to mute. In my opinion, it’s an impossible task to always mute outside noise but we can work to mitigate this impact. The most impactful way to mitigate external impact is to focus on the internal.

“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do no harm.” – African proverb

Outside noise and influence aren’t necessarily an enemy. But they can be a negative impact. The best way to mitigate this impact is to be as clear and concise in how we understand our own unique definition of success. It’s about strengthening our understanding of our internal so that external factors aren’t as influential. Here are 3 ideas that can help:

• Clarity in priorities: we must be crystal clear what we value and what we don’t value. If spending time with family is a high priority, why would we be upset not having some “prestigious” job that requires constant travel? If working for a non-profit organization is a high priority, why would we be upset about our friend making more money in corporate world? When we create clear priorities, we focus on success in terms aligned with our priorities as opposed to basing success on someone else’s terms. Prioritize what’s most important to you and shape the definition of success around these priorities. For more on clarifying priorities, see Go Deep, Not Wide blog.
• Invest time in reflection: our priorities and definition of success will continue to evolve. To evolve we must move from who we are today to who we want to become tomorrow. We need perspective on what we want for tomorrow. To get perspective, reflection is key to pause, zoom out, and think through what we want priorities and our definition of success to become. Check out When Just Keep Trying Isn’t Enough blog for more on reflection.
• Invest time where you want the success to come: We can’t expect success in places there’s been no work and effort. Time and energy are limited. Match your time and energy with where you want to see success come. Control your schedule based on your priorities and where you want success to generate. If you don’t control it, someone else gladly will. Check out Your Most Important Metric blog for more on how we can maximize our time and energy.

Outside noise will always be present. Invest time strengthening the internal story on how you prioritize and define success. There’s something impactful about looking in the mirror and being proud of what that person looking back values. Define success in your own way.

Take your step: time invested in this step is all internal. It’s all about defining a clear and concise definition of success from one lens only – yours. To help create this clarity, start with the 3 ideas above. Outside noise will be present, we know this. Strengthen the internal story to make sure you’re clear on where to prioritize your time and energy to align with how you define your success.