If I picked up 20lbs and held it close to my body, it wouldn’t feel nearly as heavy compared to if I extended my arms out and carried the 20lbs away from my body. It’s the same weight but where we choose to carry it makes a big difference.
Switch now to think of the weight we hold from stress and struggle we face.
If we hold our struggle close to us by owning it, processing it, and learning from it, the weight won’t seem nearly as heavy as holding it away and refusing to process what’s going on. Struggles will inevitably be a part of our growth journey, but where we carry that struggle makes a big difference on the impact to our development.
When we hold the struggle away from us and don’t process what’s happening, it’s easy for us to look at external reasons. We start to play the blame game. The job promotion I deserved didn’t happen so it must be someone out to get me. My relationship has been strained so it must be because they don’t understand and appreciate me. My health has taken a setback because my job just is too crazy and frustrating right now to focus on anything else.
Our growth journey will never be linear. When this additional stress and struggle present itself, where are we choosing to hold our weight? When the job promotion doesn’t happen, are we holding this weight close to us so we can process and learn from the situation or are we choosing to hold the weight away from us and find external reasons to blame? Are we choosing to process and learn how to adapt to difficult work circumstances to maintain good health or pushing this away and settling on blaming our work for our health shortcomings?
When we hold the weight away from us, it gets heavier and heavier because we haven’t taken the time it deserves to process the stress or struggle. It’s easy to play the blame game but the weight just feels heavier over time. If we choose to own it and hold it close, we give it the time it deserves to process it and learn for the future. We make the choice not to let this weight continue to weigh us down.
It is tough in the moment facing stress and struggle. That’s our reality. Where we choose to hold the weight of this stress and struggle is often the difference between owning our situation and reaction so that we can grow for tomorrow versus pushing it away and choosing to point fingers. Same struggle but two very different outcomes of how this weight impacts our future.
Where will you carry your weight?
Take your step: the next time you encounter stress or struggle, take a moment, and reflect where you’re choosing to carry your weight. Challenge yourself to own the situation, process it, and learn from it. External reasons will quickly pop up and there may be some very justifiable reasons. Mitigate time and energy spent on these external factors and shift focus to what you can control and grow from for the future.