My wife and I recently had friends go through every parents’ nightmare, the loss of a child. Why would such a wonderful 8-year-old be taken from this amazing family so early? I can’t rationalize it. I can’t make sense of it.
As we spent time with our friends, I noticed how often they would check in on how others were doing.
“How are your kids holding up?”
“I know his teacher is going through a tough time and hope she’s holding up okay.”
“The community has been amazing for support.”
“We want to make the service as kid friendly as we can for his classmates.”
In their most difficult time, their response is to think of others and be concerned for their well-being. Where it’s difficult to think how to move forward and are going through their own stages of loss, their focus additionally goes to making sure others impacted by this tragic loss are doing okay. If you knew this family, you wouldn’t be surprised at all. That’s just who they are. They are the true model of character.
Character can be defined in a variety of ways but often comes down to such key dynamics as how you treat others, mindset, integrity, moral compass. It’s how you bring yourself to the world and the purpose you carry.
It’s easy to showcase kindness, compassion, gratefulness when times are good. When all is going our way, our mind is in a natural state of feeling good and with that feel good flow, showing good character can be much easier. True character gets revealed in the most difficult of times. When the clouds get dark above us, character gets put to the test.
We all face moments of varying degrees of darkness. Some may completely wreck us while others may be small hurdles. The darkness can cast a shadow on the path we’re on for how we bring ourselves to the world and the purpose we each carry.
Regardless of what we all face, hang on tight to your purpose. That grip on your purpose can help weather storms to come out the other side still on the path to making your authentic difference. When you maintain your view of purpose, regardless of how dark and distorted it may be, the key dynamics of our character hold steady. Kindness, integrity, empathy remain steady regardless of the storms overhead. While it’s not easy to maintain and certainly times of doubt will arise, maintaining these key attributes of how we bring ourselves to the world and the purpose we carry is what true character looks like.
While I’ve never asked my friends this question, I’m confident if they’re asked about their purpose, a big part of their response would be having a positive influence on others. All the involvement they have in their community, volunteer efforts, and their daily habits of interaction all hold tight to a purpose of making a positive difference to those around them. I’m extremely grateful to have their friendship and model of what it takes to be someone of high character.
Take your step: take time to reflect on how you would want to define your character. Write down the key attributes of the character you want to not just instill but continue to grow and manifest. Memorializing that character reflects a big part of your purpose and as dark days come your way, leverage this definition of your authentic character to stay on path to making your positive difference.
If inspired to support this family, please consider donating to Des Moines Refugee Support Group (@dsm-refugee-support) or Joppa.